There are NO RULES in Shiduchim

“This whole shiduchim part of my life is so frustrating and stressful, I wish there was a manual of how to navigate through it.” “Indeed, what are the protocols; wouldn’t it be great if those were written and shared with all?”

Though it may be easier to have a clear set of guidelines, there really are no rules when it comes to shiduchim. OK, there are just a few which I’ll mention soon. Every potential shiduch is unique – in so many ways that it would be difficult to state explicitly the way they should be done.

Some questions and answers.

You can send your questions to info@adaiad.org or you can use the 'Ask Anonymous question' form. We will try to answer your questions and add them here.

1. OK, some rules

2. If you have an idea for a shiduch, who should you approach first – the family or advocate of the young man or woman? It depends. There are some points to consider.

3. How to tell the shadchan that you do not want to pursue the suggestion? Again, there are several things to consider.

4. What to do when you receive a “it’s not shayach”?

5. What to do when you consistently get “it’s not shayach”? There are several things that might be happening.

6. How much time might one take to do research?

7. How might you describe your single?

8. The shadchen never calls me or follows through with suggestions. How often can I call the shadchen without being a nudnik?